Back….Again!
I realize that I haven’t written in months, but I’ve had some really great encouragement from Ben Davis and Jeremy Freeman to get back “on the horse”. I think today would be an appropriate time to start writing again since there is a great deal going on.
This past Sunday, a very dear friend of mine, Melissa Barone, went to be with the Lord. She is preceded in death by twin daughters that she lost just a few weeks ago. It’s still very surreal when I think that she’s not here anymore. I’ll miss her infectious smile, her warm spirit, but most of all her giggle. It was a very simple and cute giggle, but it was a giggle that was all her own. I’ve been close to Melissa for about 23 years now. She was my first friend in kindergarden and our report cards notated such. There were many instances that referred to us being “Buddies” and talking too much. (Melissa was always good at that! 
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So far, as a whole, I’ve been holding up fairly well. But there are still questions that persist. I know that I’ll probably have to wait until I pass to find out why God took her so young and why she lost her babies too. I just have to hold on to the fact that God is good…all of the time. It’s hard to fathom in these times just how great God’s love is. But that has to be the driving force to bring us through the tough situations. I know that We will see Melissa again, but sometimes those words just seem hollow. I want to see her now, hear her voice and make her laugh. I think the solution to that would be to just press in to God harder and rely on his comforting grace to see us through. So for now, we can share funny stories, look at pictures and remember all of Melissa’s wonderful qualities.
I’m going to miss her terribly. I know I’m certainly not the only one… we all loved Melissa Barone. 
Hayden is going to be 3!
My little boy, the apple of my eye, will be 3 years old tomorrow. I can’t believe how fast time has gone. Sometimes I miss when I could just lay next to him and watch him sleep. He’s a big boy now, and that doesn’t really work today. All I can really say is, I’m very glad that he’s not old enough yet to recognize the fact that his father is a nobody.
Back to Blogging
It’s official! I’m lazy! It’s been almost five months since my last blog. I think it’s time to pick it back up and put things down on paper (or web page)….
Back in October, I lost my job. Just like so many of the nation’s work force, I’m looking for employment. Through this process, I’ve flip-flopped almost daily in attitude, mood and motivation. I’ve been under-medicated, over-medicated and non-medicated. I think I’m finally starting to get a grasp on the situation and my medication. I still don’t have a job, and there are very few leads. I am, however, finding a renewed faith in Christ and the plan he has set out for me. Instead of asking God to put me in a certain position, I am asking more to lead me to a place where he wants me. He’s already promised that he will provide for me (and my family), I just need to follow him to where he wants me. I’ve found a refreshed love for my friends, students and more importantly…my family (Jill to be MOST specific). All of this is due to the fact that I’m not trying to hide from God anymore. It says in Genesis 3:9- God called to the Man: “Where are you?” God is continually looking for me, even when I hide and I’m embarrassed. I’m not going to hide anymore. It’s not doing me any good, and my family deserves better. Now I just have to quiet my mind and find out where Christ is leading me to be. Trust is hard, but it’s necessary.
Back to Work…
Today is Tuesday. It’s my second day back to work after having a month off. It’s been acceptable so far, but I still feel a little lost. There are events that are going on and I have no clue any of the details of these events. It’s been a bit of a struggle to realize that I HAVE to go back to work and I HAVE to work through this time. What has helped though is a verse out of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. It states, “
| 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. |
| 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I believe that it is imperative that I remind myself of these promises. When I feel weak, I should be declaring these truths that Christ has set out before us! It’s very empowering and humbling at the same time. These facts have also changed my perspective on life as a person, but more importantly, life as a Christ Follower. |
Nice Labor Day Weekend
This past weekend was very nice. On Saturday, Jill and I got a great deal accomplished around the house and we also got to spend a little alone time together. My Mom was gracious enough to take the Little Dude for a while so that we could get some things done. On Sunday we had a great service at church learning both from Pastor Jeff and his Dad, Pastor Leake. Sunday night, we had over the Fosters, Freemans and my little brother. (Melissa had to work). We pigged out on some grill foods and then sat by the fire for some nice conversation. Monday we spent at my Uncle Chutty’s house. It was a very nice day weather wise, plus it was Paps birthday, so we got to enjoy the day with him. Hayden spent most of the time in the pool which wore him out for the night! Good times.
Introducing…
I am proud to introduce the Internet debut of “Goin’ Outta My Mind” by Dead Juliet!!! Ok, so maybe it’s not the debut, but I’m sure proud of Josh Foster and the effort that he’s put into creating this awesome music!Goin’ Outta My Mind
Dead Juliet
For a while now, Foster (Slinger) has been working on an album with help from Jeremy (Literal). The group is called Dead Juliet. So far it’s amazing. I will be posting some music from them on the blog. I’m very proud of what Josh has done. And Jeremy too! Be on the look-out!
Hopefully I will be pushing out some music myself. I’ll definitely need help from Josh and Jeremy, along with a macbook I would imagine.
The Importance of Friends
Recently, Jill and I have experienced some very hard times. No, no, don’t worry, our marriage is just fine. These events have actually brought Jill and I closer (the one GOOD thing to come out of this so far). With all of the things that are going on, I am now becoming aware of just how important close friends are. Jill and I have a somewhat small circle of friends. Not because we’re snooty or picky. It’s just because we haven’t really bonded with many other families out side of the Freemans and Fosters (Jesse and Melissa don’t count because they are family).
When the Freeman’s found out that I had come about hard times, they were right here to spend time with us and make us laugh. When the Freeman’s and Foster’s found out that Jill’s Pa-pa had passed, guess where they were? That’s it! Right by our side. These people are the ones that are making me feel like life is worth living and that there is hope for a better day tomorrow. Why, because they will be there. I know that my wife, brother and parents should make me feel everything is “worth it”, but the fact of the matter is, they kind of HAVE to love me. It’s because of Josh’s understanding heart or Jeremy’s loving demeanor that makes me realize that I live for my family and friends. I’m guessing that Seroquel helps too!
I’m looking forward to many more years and many more occasions spent with these two families. I love them with all of my heart. I can’t wait to see what our future brings.
Not sure it’s working.
Well, it’s been about a week and a half since I’ve started taking my medicine, and I’m not sure it’s working. I still have a feeling of worthlessness on most days and I often just feel like giving up. Jill seems to think I’m doing better. She has said that she sees me being more active than usual, but I don’t seem to see it.
I’m not sure how fast this medicine is supposed to work, but I’m fairly sure it hasn’t kicked in just yet. If there is any one else reading this blog (other than my Wife), do you ever feel like you are doomed to a life of mediocrity. I feel like I have no options in life and I’ll just be stuck where I’m at.
I do think that some of these thoughts are coming from the hard times that Jill and I have come upon. What with me being off of work for a few weeks, Jill’s Pa-pa dying, her car crapping out on us, and having very limited funds. Just not sure how to take care of all of these things,especially all at once.
The Dark Knight
Sunday, I finally got to go see “The Dark Knight” with Jeremy. I had high hopes, but never thought that it would meet all of my expectations. For a movie that was so “Over the Top” hyped, this completely deserved it. From stunning visuals, to an Oscar worthy performance from Heath Ledger, this movie had it all. I can’t say enough about this film. Basically, the best way I can put it is, this movie is now in my top 10 movies. I really doubted that a comic book movie could produce an Oscar performance, but Heath Ledger honestly pulled it off. If you haven’t seen this movie, please hurry out and see it on the big screen as soon as possible!
